Eternal Sunset of The Spotty Mind

My roommate Brian and I were discussing the pros and cons of having Ted clones.  I thought with my current workload, two would be preferable.  And then we realized that the idea is possibly one of the most annoying concepts ever thought up.  Can you imagine? 

• The beer bill would go through the roof, and we would drink a whole lot more since we wouldn’t ever be drinking alone. 
• Instead of one asshole singing showtunes all day in the apartment, there’d be three assholes singing trios. 
• Could you imagine three Teds at a Mets game?  We’d get banned for life, even though we’re three of the few humans with the same cranius enormous condition that Mr. Met has.
• Three of my asses could fill the grand canyon.
• Three times the man periods.
• There’d be three times as many guys in our apartment not getting laid.
• My clones would play grabass all day long, thereby not getting any of the work done for which they were spawned.

There are some positives…

• Rotating shifts.  I’d finally get sleep.
• I would no longer have to take yoga to learn to self-fellate.
• I could play wiffle ball with myself, but why would I do that when I can blow myself?

Probably not worth it.

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